Husband an addict?

[bubblegum]

Has been a rough weekend here in the marriage arena…

Husband is seriously making things difficult.

Friday night we went to a hockey game, we were walking out through the parking lot and this car like pulled out of the spot really fast and almost hit us. So he stands there and stares this car down as the car proceeds to jerk towards him a few times. He then took his FIST and punched his hood leaving a big dent – then says proudly to me “I just taught him a $1000 lesson”…. GREAT…

Last night he went out with friends the bar – he proceeds to bring them all home with him at 2 am – they continue to take shots and smoke weed in my kitchen, woke up Tessa. Anth told me all this crap about how I don’t “try” anymore to get myself together and I look frumpy and its hard to be attracted to that – well I am sorry I am working full time, taking care of a 20 month old and keeping the house together and I am just exhausted. Sorry I see nothing wrong with coming home from work and putting on sweatpants. Apparently he wants some kind of trophy wife. I ignored it last night wasn’t work fighting with a drunk person. So he finally passes out in bed with all his clothes on so I am pulling his jeans off him so he is more comfy and grab his phone and sees he was texting back and forth with his exgirlfriend all night. Then this morning he and his friends wake up and have mimosas and smoke more weed.

It is very obvious he doesn’t have the healthiest relationships with substances –something I think I have been trying to keep in my denial. I can’t have this in my house. I can’t let this behavior put my sobriety at risk and I wont have my daughter growing up like that. I was so mad I went to my sponsors for the afternoon – was going to stay there longer, possibly for a few days but I can’t mess up T’s schedule like that and she is right – why am I kicking myself out of my house for his poor behavior.

I just don’t know what to do. I know things are not going to work out if this continues. I feel so trapped though. Have lots of thinking to do and some boundaries to set. Not sure how he will react to it all. I am feeling very overwhelmed and scared though. I feel like a big idiot.

Sorry to air all my dirty laundry and make this all about me.