The Curse

[Electric]

It has been some time since I have checked in,I have missed alot of time now that I have become so gainfully employed and working so much,I was certified in august for my career and schooling and travel took a bit of a toll on me, time flies when you are engulfed in life.....

I am now helping myself and others the way i always have,with one very intense change yet again in my family life,My oldest Daughter made the choice to admit herself into a well known treatment center here where we live, and has been in treatment her third week now,She is pregnant and has come so far in her life at such a young age,something most of Us may have gone through during decades of a lifetime,...She has been addicted to drugs and alcohol since she was a pre-teen, she has seen the wrath many times over,she has lived an extremely intense lifestyle and has lost just about everything she ever cared about and yet regained it in her own respective time,I am proud she is getting the knowledge she deserves and so needs to recieve,I must say that she tells me my recovery for the past 4 years has really influenced her to reach out and not be too proud to ask for help,this makes me feel so content in my own personal decision to stop the madness of the dreaded "curse" I carried since I was a teenage addict leading into full blown adult addiction,something My father and his fathers, father passed down unto Us so many generations ago,almost like a plague,or as alot of people call it "the monster", If I was able to call it anything at all in my life, I would have called it total devistation and the killing of the mind body and souls of all who enter into this path of destruction.A sheer living hell.......

My youngest Daughter and myself are helping with raising my Grandson who turned three in June,He is extremely hyper,and is definitely a handfull,she watches him during the day while I am working doing her schoolwork and trying to pick up after him and keeping the house clean and tidy,we are into winter pretty good here on the coast already,so you get cabin fever pretty easy as the rains and winds pound outside,emotions can run high at times,so it is enough to stay as positive as possible.She is such a great teacher with him,and she has so many great attributes,I smile inside wondering what may come from these new generations of my family now,the tools one needs to survive in a world that is so corrupt at times and how when they may feel weak,yet will they look upon stronger times and remember yet how hard those before fought to stay the path and never give in to self medicating to ease the pain of stress and pressure.

I am concerend about My middle Daughter as she has had so many problems with her endometriosis,I just spoke with her the other day and she had gone the ER for pains in her abdominal region again,they are telling her that she will most likely have to undergo a hysterectomy,this is news that hits hard at such a young age of 21. She also told me she has been having issues and is going to start to attend N/A meetings, she lives 2 and half hours away and i do not get to see her very often, she has been hiding her addictions well from me,I support her wishes to get the knowledge and also to help her achieve her goals, my main concern is her health physicaly,some times at night I awake thinking my daughters are little again in their beds in my home, and a tear drops,and then the pain of knowing all the shit i have put them through, comes rushing in like a flood,I struggle to get back to sleep and worry myself hoping they are safe and allright,it is a little easier for me with my two other daughters, but with my middle she is farther away.so when we talk on the phone my main concern is wether or not she needs anything that I might be able to help her with in that imeadiate phone call,this sucks,because I would rather have her here and in my arms to hold and console,I know that she will come down next weekend with her boyfriend and stay here with Us,but I also know that she will go back and I hope that she sticks to her goals and makes that crucial life change now.

I sure miss being able to take the time to read Everyones posts on here, and I have really missed just getting back to "my" people, in a career- minded world where no-one understands a man who has lived through and broke "the curse",I wish You all the best and have truly missed all Your company....

Stay Safe Alwayz,Christopher