Dealing with negative emotions

[Uncle Fester]

When you have a psychological problem, you not only experience an unhealthy negative emotion, you also act or ‘feel like’ acting in an unconstructive manner . Such unconstructive behaviour can take a number of different forms. Thus, your problem-related behaviour can:

1. be consistent with your unhealthy negative emotion (e.g. when you attack someone verbally towards whom you feel unhealthily angry);

2. help you to rid yourself of your unhealthy negative emotion once you have started to experience it (e.g. when you seek reassurance from someone when you begin to feel anxious about something);

3. help prevent you from feeling an unhealthy negative emotion (e.g. when you avoid a situation which you would otherwise feel anxious were you to face it);

4. help you to compensate for the irrational belief that underpins your unhealthy negative emotion (e.g. when you try to show yourself how strong you are when you privately think you are a weak person.

It is important for you to remember that whatever purpose your problem-related behaviour has, its effect is usually to perpetuate your psychological problem.

From the REBT workbook, ‘Reason to change’ by Windy Dryden