honesty time...

[leaf]

Well, its time to get honest and back to day one. I’ve been drinking for the last three days. I made it 19 months and 16 days this last time.

I saw this coming and I did nothing to stop it. There is little collateral damage to this relapse thank god, but my wife told me she hoped I have it out of my system for good this time. We didn’t fight and I just avoided her. My drunk mind thought that was a great strategy, because I can be pretty nasty to her when drinking. She told me my silence is worse.

I’ve got myself in a really bad mental spot right now. This has become a pattern. I get a year plus of sobriety and a part of my mind knows a binge is coming sooner or later.

I’m doing my best to stay positive, sober and learn from this today.

One thing I know is that seeking support before I allow myself to go drinking is something I need to do.

Thanks for hearing me.

Bill