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#81
06-11-2009, 06:56 AM
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Good for you for hanging in there (((KT))). One day at a time. It WILL get better!
       
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#82
06-11-2009, 11:02 AM
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Affirmations are repeated positive statements designed to bring about a desired result. The repetitious aspect is meant to influence and trigger the subconscious mind into positive action.
It's no surprise that on a daily basis we often unconsciously repeat negative statements to ourselves about different situations in our lives. In doing so we often bring about the undesirable circumstance itself. We might say to ourselves "I can't do this", "I'm not good enough for that" or "this will never work". Needless to say, our proclamations become self-fulfilling prophesies. The reverse can also be true. If we were to turn the negative statements we frequently utter into positive ones, we would bring about more favorable outcomes. Take Muhammad Ali as an example. Who hasn't heard his famous declaration? "I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was." Muhammad Ali Is there any question in anyone's mind that Ali's repetition of that phrase helped him achieve the status of being "the greatest"? Another one of his famous maxims was "I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee". I'm sure his opponents shuddered at the mere mention of it. Another interesting illustration for the effectiveness of affirmations comes from the auto suggestion work of Emile Coué (1857-1926) the French psychologist and pharmacist who introduced the now famous phrase: "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better". As a tool for self-improvement, he recommended that we begin each day by stating it firmly and convincingly. Coué felt that, as stated in his "Law of Concentrated Attention", whenever attention is concentrated on an idea over and over again, it spontaneously tends to realize itself. In working with his patients he utilized this law to help them build their self-image. Since then affirmations have also been used in cognitive therapy and found to work quite well. Needless to say there's no magic to it and there are limitations. Certainly you wouldn't make an affirmation that is unrealistic or makes no sense. Ultimately they're meant to serve as another helpful tool in furthering your personal development. The Benefits When used properly, they can change your attitude and behaviors. Can change negative thinking into positive. Can help you stay focused. Can help you relax and release tension. They can motivate you to achieve your goals. Tips On Use: Make up special, meaningful phrases in your own descriptive words. It makes them more credible and therefore more effective. Write them down so you remember what they are and are able to use them over and over again. Always state them in the positive, for example say, "I am good at this", instead of "I will not be bad at this". Find a specific time and a quite place and repeat them at least twice daily. State them with conviction, enthusiasm and desire. Live them. Practice what you affirm. As you can see employing positive phrases and assertions in the course of your personal development can serve as a useful and productive tool. Anything you can believe, you can achieve.
__________________
 'Love is life believing in itself'. Manitonquat.
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#83
06-11-2009, 01:25 PM
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Great post Indie!
I have been trying to use the "word exchange" a lot, and was especially helped yesterday by Fifi's post: "I feel I have gone from being an "awfulising pessimist" to being an "optimistic realist" Just that post alone stuck with me about looking at the positive.
__________________
When you get tangled up just Tango on...
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#84
06-12-2009, 01:46 AM
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(((((KT))))))
GOOD FOR YOU!!! You tried at least. I know when I was right where you are and I would make the effort to go to the meeting and then it wasn't there (or cancelled) or something, I would be SO Relieved!! NO MEETING!! But, then I would just use that as an excuse to drink. . .so please don't do that!!  And you know what I found that did help the cravings was L-Glutamine and the B-vits as well as GABA and Valerian. Valerian and Passion Flower really help for sleep. BTW - I cannot remember if you mentioned it before or not, but did you say that you take antidepressants? or no? Thinking of you. Stay strong!
__________________
From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life. - Arthur Ashe
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#85
06-12-2009, 10:55 AM
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((((KT)))) Well done for making it to the meeting,even though it was cancelled, you still got there and you can do it again. When will you go again? Good idea going to the gym beforehand. I was going to ask if exercise helps your mental state...it has a big effect on mine.
I think it's good that you are considering f to f therapy, it has helped me a lot in the past. I'm thinking of you and sending you extra strength vibes and hoping those nasty cravings will be kicked in the butt real soon.
__________________
Its not your fault, look around, there's so many of us There's so many of us, you are not alone Ever, ever, ever. Stop.
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#89
07-03-2009, 06:09 PM
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Hi. I'm ok. Working long hours. Have fallen MADLY in love with someone. No time to think. Life weird like that. Write soon, different, happy, found, becoming...
(still sober, long time now, two months? but chainsmoking  )
__________________
“The true enemy of god is boredom” - Soccergirl
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#90
07-03-2009, 10:48 PM
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WOW KT...madly in love, eh? How exciting for you!
Thanks for dropping by and updating us. I'm really pleased that you are staying sober....WOOHOO Hope you'll drop in again soon
__________________
cody Patience, Practice, Persistence and Progress
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#91
07-07-2009, 06:04 AM
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WTG KT!!!
 Enjoy your new-found happiness my friend.Fifi 
__________________
"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive." H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama
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#93
07-08-2009, 10:25 PM
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ALL RIGHT KT!!!! Hope you are staying "centered" too (whatever that means - I guess for me, it's just remembering that no matter what - my sobriety HAS to come first or everything else is GONE in a flash). I am so excited for you!!! Keep us posted - some of us have to live vicariously through that stuff!
__________________
From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life. - Arthur Ashe
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#94
07-09-2009, 07:00 AM
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It's not that simple. I wish it was. I've been wanting a drink badly lately. I said I'm in love, yes, I am, it's not that simple either. I met her online, at another recovery site, I've never felt like this before, about anyone, it's more than love, it's home, it was instant, for her too. She's wounded, very wounded, she's been through hell, I want to take care of her for the rest of our lives, and I will, but it's painful, there's a lot of space between us, distance, time, anxiety, she wants to be with me but gets physically sick when we talk about it, like I said, she's been wounded, badly, inside, over and over, by the cruelty of 'people', if you can call those who would harm children so deeply people, I don't think I can.
I accept her completely, we share a soul, we share a heart, this isn't loving someone else so much as finding the missing part of me, of her, in us. It's an eerie and beautiful feeling. But... she's wounded, I keep coming back to that, because i want to heal with her, together, but it's painful, to be away from her, to know that she wants to be with me but such is her wounds that she couldn't physically deal with it very soon, I can't imagine, with what she's been through, how it must be for her, yet I accept, it's just strange, a very strange feeling, to be so close to someone but caged off, like coaxing a kitten out of a tree, afraid, fragile, smallest funk up and everything's lost, for both of us, how to proceed. I don't know, I would normally feel unworthy, but not with her, there's very little insecurity on either of our parts, for being two neurotically insecure people, like I said, we knew, from the beginning, it's just a matter of logistics now, and time, and time, and distance, and time....
__________________
“The true enemy of god is boredom” - Soccergirl
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#95
07-13-2009, 11:58 AM
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Hi Mr Trout,
I just crashed in to your thread and read the last one. Glad you are sober, so am I with the help of naltraxone and campral. I rattle! As for the online romance, wounded souls can heal, time is needed. Sometimes you need to wait for the first rush to die down and then move slowly into an intimate friendship - yes it can happen on line. My friendships have moved from level to level depending on my sober state. Now I am very settled in my sense of self and that helps deal with all the issues of distance, fear, anger, and disappointment. With it all comes a friendship unlike I have ever had. Even though I dont run around with my arse on fire worrying myself silly over things I cannot change. I hope all that made sense 
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#96
07-29-2009, 07:48 AM
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KT,
Thinking Warm Happy thoughts for you and your Dear One, Big Hugs and Best Wishes.. ~manzi
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