Question...

[Giyana]

In all of the papers people have, does anything come to mind that would address the dilemma of "paths"? Which is to say, I saw a Marston piece about the fact that we are always headed somewhere, and we have to be careful to choose the "somewhere" to which we are headed.

How can one separate the day-to-day trials that can so quickly segue into "Should I change my life completely?!! ...or should I just get on with it?"

Maybe everyone but myself has clarity of vision here (having kids certainly helps) but my children are grown, and I am left with: "What do I really want to do with the time I have left on this earth." There are some of the obvious things: make life better for my loved ones and others, use my talents and strengths, etc.

I don't expect answers here, just some provocative thinking that anyone may have.

Thanks, Gianna

[Velvet]

Hey Gianna. I'm not sure if I'm clear on what your asking, but I feel that each decision, that we make during the day, whether big or small, determines where we are on our path in life and which way it travels. Some decisions will stop us in our tracks, some decisions will head us speeding down the path and then some will head us in a different direction and we may need to backup. Whether it be a purchase, an action, or a decision.
lol I hope that isn't too confusing. (my head is alot of different places today. )

[Done-With-It!]

In all of the papers people have, does anything come to mind that would address the dilemma of "paths"?

The book, The Road Less Traveled comes to mind.

[Kymberly]

I've always enjoyed "The Law of Attraction." The premise follows the path I choose for the values in my life.

Good luck!

[CDawg]

Gianna,

To try and sum it up briefly, in addition to the wise words above I might add that the choices that we make today create the choices that will greet us in the morn. As with cause and effect, choices can and mostly are linear. So we choose what direction our path will take by the choices that we make.

Peace,

C

[Smyle]

I am with Kym.. seems like no matter how much I try to avoid or attain something ... It just all happens somehow in the best/worst ways...

I am a 'careful what you wish for" kinda girl.... and of course Karma... she is always lurking...

lots of things to think about here...

Thanks,
beezy

[Giyana]

Hi all, thanks for taking the time to reply. I think this is going to be an ongoing "meditational" thread for me. I have launched myself off in a new work situation, and it is very time-consuming, but ultimately financially and emotionally rewarding I think.

Key to what I am asking is that I love being around, and interacting with, people; yet what I have done all my life (fairly successfully) is illustration-an essentially isolating profession. For the last 13 years I worked as an AD at a magazine, thus using my art and my people skills. Now I am back in my studio many hours a day, and missing very much the people contact.

When I posted this thread it was an attempt to resolve in my mind whether my decision (to isolate and do art) was the right one. Perhaps I should be more involved with people in some way. Of course there may be a middle road in this, and that is what I am looking for. I can expand the business possibly, and have interns/employees (I do love mentoring). I could volunteer for some service work in the community using my art skills...

As I think through this process I so often find that thoughts from the outside (read: all of you) are very helpful. I had forgotten, for instance, Done, that I love the book: "The Road Less Taken? Travelled".

Beezy, thanks for the "karma" thing; it is something I want to pay attention to-that I use my skills in some way to help others.

Cdawg, choices are ideally linear, and I am just trying to pave my path a little better.

Kym, "The Law of Attraction" is a book? I will google it.

And Velvet, I always find you wise. Thanks for responding.

All thoughts welcome,
Gianna

[cody]

Boy Gianna, it's a tough question.

I think for myself, I tend to try and go with what is in my heart, when I choose the direction of my path. I would say that has been a very useful tactic for me. If in your heart you are missing something with your new work situation, it is good to identify what that is (like you have) and then point your boat in a direction that will help provide some of what is missing.

I like your ideas about hiring others and/or volunteering. Both make a lot of sense. Hopefully you can figure out a way to incorporate either/both of those into your picture.

You might also find Tolle's book A New Earth useful; it talks about awakening to your life's purpose. I dunno. Just a thought!

Do let us know how things go for you on this adventure

[Velvet]

I like your ideas about hiring others and/or volunteering. Both make a lot of sense. Hopefully you can figure out a way to incorporate either/both of those into your picture.

I think you should go with your heart and with art, even though it will be isolating, you could still put into practice cody's point.
I think volunteering for a community project, like a 'keep our city beautiful', would be good or even helping out some way with a local high school art program. That way you would be having best of both worlds. Your own schedule would be wonderful.
I guess I was alittle off with my advice above.
Best of luck to you sweetie.

[RoseH2O]

Some good questions here Gianna! I am in a similar boat, I work from home and own my own business that keeps me pretty isolated.

I am a very outgoing person and love to be around people but the work I do allows me to be available for my kids and work too. It's a tough call for sure.

I am also looking at ways to get myself out there but at this point in my life I just cannot go back into a 9 - 5 job as my kids are involved in so many activities and I am taxi.

I have been trying to get to the gym, looking at taking some classes and searching for ways I can be around real live humans. It is lonely.

But I do think as the others have said the choices we make today predict tomorrow. Especially where using/drinking come in. And how we treat our bodies with eating right and getting enough sleep and exercise. With this also comes taking time to fill our personal needs. That is the hardest for me as it seems I always put myself at the bottom of the list.

Keep looking and be well.
rose

[Giyana]

Thanks again for the input Cody, Velvet, RoseH20. It is all helpful, and I want to continue this thread; it is at the center of my thinking at the moment. First I thought:"Oh da**it, isolation again!" But that was pretty limited thinking. Very one-dimensional. When the problem is identified...isolation...then other options appear. So often it is easy to see things in a very flat light when in fact nuances abound. We may just have to come at the problem from another direction. Say, the obvious, which is for me to stop looking inward and look out a little bit.

Velvet, keep talking. You always make sense to me. Cody, I will look for the book: A new Earth. And Rose, I think a class is in order.

I am going to keep this thread going; it is already a big help to me.

Gianna

[Velvet]

Yes! I have finally found someone that I make sense to!!!!

Gianna.

[Fifi]

FWIW Velvet - you have always made sense to me! Well...mebbe with the exception of the clock society thingy that your folks belong to

Gianna, you have a real knack for starting extremely thought-provoking threads! Thanks for that.

I think Cody hit on something (at least that rang a bell for me) with the thought of awakening to life's purpose in terms of one's own perspective. I find myself thinking about that a lot, even though my therapist suggests it might not be helpful! My experience of life is changing all the time and I do my best not to attach bias to the various stages, but it seems to be a natural inclination to do so.

Various happenings in my work life recently have made me question what my life's purpose actually is - not a bad thing I reckon. The best thing about growing up (old) is acquiring wisdom and remaining open to acquiring more.

Here endeth my attempt at reconciling my expectations with the realities of life!

Fifi

[Velvet]

Fifi

[Giyana]

Yes Velvet, I didn't quite understand the bit about you making sense...I ALWAYS read what you say with interest.

I just got the two books from Amazon: "The Road Less Traveled" and "A New Earth" plus a book by Albert Ellis, "The Practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy". I am tired of listening to myself whine for an easy way to work out things in my life and am going to start doing the work.

Thanks Done and Cody for those two book refs, and Kym, I am just looking up the "Law of Attraction".

All of you are helping out with answers on this thread; I guess I know in my heart that (if there is a God) he is really going to be pi**ed off at me if I die and haven't used this talent, so I am giving 35 hours a week to it, and maybe it will become habit. (It will certainly make me richer!)

Fif, I have been wrangling with Aperture 2 to get all my images sorted; do you know it? I love the program, and it is starting to both make sense, and get some order into my visual life.

Love you all,
Gianna

[Velvet]

Gianna, you are very blessed to have such a talent. Definately go with it. It will give you peace and it 'ain't all bad' if you're getting some good cash too!!

[Giyana]

Thanks Velvet. I wish I had chosen something less isolating...

[Velvet]

Gianna, take a walk outside and look at nature and be thankful that you have a wonderful talent.
You know sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence.
Volunteering, somewhere, will give you that companionship that you need. I hope you will look into that.

[cody]

you could volunteer to teach an art class for the 4 day camp for three hundred 7-12 graders I'm organizing We could use the help!

[jpeace]

Gianna, if I may add to what others have already said here---and this comes from both a clinical and a personal journey perspective so take it for whatever it may be worth...

Many of us who are either addicts or codies or both are very black and white in our thinking. Cognitive behavioral therapists note this as a main cognitive distortion and obstacle to therapy. But it can be overcome with work and focus. The REBT stuff will probably help with that. I myself fight every day to live more in the gray, but for me, the black and the white, although somewhat extreme and narrow sometimes, provided security and predictability. The "gray" was always more ambiguous and for me that was scary and represented insecurity--and to some extent, a loss of the control I valued so much in my life.

Reading everything written here also makes me think of my own journey and struggles with isolating vs. being the people person that I am. Why can I not do some of both, I ask? Because that's part of the gray.....a little of this and a little of that.....maybe spend part of the week out of the house, but Friday nights, I shut myself in and deprogram. Balance, for lack of a better term. I realize I'm rambling here but I am trying to get out the flow of thoughts that's coming as I'm writing right now.

Bottom line, for those who were able to read through all that garbled mess is this: finding balance is something I personally have found difficult and I have seen in my former work as a therapist, that others find difficult. In a black and white world, things are neatly compartmentalized, classified, boundaries drawn, people are given labels (I'm an introvert/extrovert, etc) and everything is very cut and dried. In a gray, more balanced world, we learn to accept each of the characteristics that makes us...us....even if some are in direct conflict with others. It sounds to me like that may be part of your struggle too. I firmly believe you can have that time of solitude, not isolation, but that if you look hard enough, you can find ways to share your gifts with others and thus get the people time you crave also.

We really can have it all, we just have to be willing to assess things one day at a time, not on a global level: "it's always this way, I never do that." Again, very black and white, and limiting when you really think about it. I hope some of this makes sense, I will go back and try and edit it into more clarity, but I wish you luck....it's a tough journey, that search for balance. But the times I have found it, no matter how fleeting, I was surprisingly comforted.