Mixed Feelings

[Dragonfish]

I am waiting to go to my first OA meeting and am of course, terrified. I need to go, my eating rules my life. However, my worries are somewhat complicated and I kind of need to put them out there.
I grew up in a 12 step household. My dad was in AA. But, although I know he tried so hard to make it work, will all did, it didn't. I can recite the steps, the big book and all the traditions by heart, but at the back of my mind I can't deny that I am worried the same will happen to me.
My dad died, drunk, psychotic and all on his own. Even his AA group were shocked at what happened. I stopped going to the family support groups as I felt like the bad news fairy. People don't want to believe that sometimes the worst happens.
How can I go into a group of people who are trying so hard to make a difference, admit I need help to, and then explain why I am really so scared?
I know OA is not AA and I am not my dad, but it is hard to tread a path which looks so familiar.
Any other newbies reading this, please do not let it put you off, this is my baggage and my story, but should I share something like this?