What do you mean, you just quit?!

[Don S]

"What do you mean, you just quit?"

Yep. That's the simplest way to get sober. If you prefer, you can do this incrementally--reduce your drinking by 50% today, then 50% again tomorrow, and so on. Or you can pour everything down the drain right now and not buy any more. (By the way, that's a pretty simple concept: if you don't buy it, you can't drink it!). The main thing is to take action NOW--do something specific, make a commitment, and stick with it. YOU are in control.

Obstacles to quitting are usually thoughts or beliefs about how difficult it's going to be. There are those absolute thoughts again! I can't quit, I need it, it'll be uncomfortable, I can't sleep without it, I need it because I'm stressed or anxious, the party won't be fun….Take those thoughts rationally, one by one. They aren't true, and you can prove it. You CAN do it.

Yes, there are physical consequences of quitting suddenly after prolonged alcohol abuse. Your sleep patterns and digestion may be disrupted, and you may be kind of jumpy. Most of the physical effects last about 72 hours; after that the effects are largely psychological and emotional. A change in your diet, some vitamins, and herbal tea have all been mentioned by others as helping to get through these few days. Support from others who have been there can make a big difference. It DOES get easier with time.

Urges may seem overwhelming in the first few days. Techniques for coping with urges include diverting yourself with other activities (change your daily pattern to fill your drinking hours). Actively dispute the reasons you are telling yourself about why you "need" a drink. Avoid the little rationalizations and "bargains" you want to make ("I'll buy a six-pack, but tonight I'll just drink one…or two…."). Make a promise to yourself, make it iron-clad, and stick with it. Urges WILL pass, and will become less common as time goes by.

Mood swings are not uncommon. It's exhilarating to make a significant decision and stick with it. You do notice changes right away, and they can be exciting. Urges can be demoralizing and make you feel as though you are not succeeding. Many people lapse, but it is not inevitable--nor does it mean you're a failure. Sobriety doesn't bring happiness, but it does make it more recognizable and easier to attain. Mood swings WILL pass, and your days will become more even as your body adapts to your new chemistry.

Anxiety about how people will react is a recurring theme on this board. The fact is, most people are far less interested in your drinking than you are. Sure, you can develop strategies for dealing with people who are persistent. Perhaps they have an irrational belief that you're only "fun" if you're matching them drink for drink. More likely, your resolve deepens their pre-existing insecurities about their own habits and behavior. YOU have made a choice and you don't NEED to defend it.

You've acknowledged that your drinking is a problem. Is there any better way of dealing with that problem than quitting? Give it a try! What have you got to lose?

[purrdy]

Thanks for this Don, for me I needed the kick start of AA for the first 2years...I then went religiously for the following 3 then I stopped altogether...I have never felt better, I am recovered from alcohol addiction.....as for life I exercise anopen mind and live my life as well as i can, being of serivice to otheres where I can and helping those who need me the most...

Anyone can stop drinking its the staying stopped that is the tricky bit....

Good post although you may be in for a bit of flack..who knows?...everyone is entitled to thier opinion....

[Muse]

(By the way, that's a pretty simple concept: if you don't buy it, you can't drink it!).

Simple concept Don, but my alcoholic brain could never wrap itself around that concept. I would just quit, until I started again. I could never poor booze out, or never cut back. Now I get it. It is a miracle I was ever able to quit in the first place. I was like a lamb being lead to slaughter.

I couldn't do it on my own. I needed guidance and support from people who had been through it before. They showed me the way. Now the concept of don't buy it makes perfectily good sense to me.

[purrdy]

Although I went to AA, i must admit that in the first tow weeks of not drinking it really was my determination to stop, the meetings helpd me to see that i was not the only idiot out there with this addiction!...but the decission must ultimately come for the user to stop........and Don like you say we didnt buy any at all, we never had it in the house for the first 2-3 years...hubby now has a five gallon drum of cider in the house...I wouldnt go near it for love or money...im alcoholic i cant drink.....thats it...end of story....

now life?..thats a different story!..its a journey and has its ups and downs..its a damned sight easier without drink...

[leaf]

Originally Posted by Muse

Simple concept Don, but my alcoholic brain could never wrap itself around that concept.

Why?

Perhaps an "alcoholic brain" is a brain swimming with irrational beliefs. And like Don said, those irrational beliefs / absolute thoughts are the biggest obstacle once the physical part is over.

Sounds to me like we are speaking the same language.

[purrdy]

So leaf did you just stop? or did you need support during those early days?....I think we become so warped with our thinking that we lose all sight of who we are and all belief in what we can achieve...we lose sight of our inner strength....well that was how it was for me

i will never forget the reaction I got from my home group when i said I wanted to 'reclaim' my power...they all thought I was barmey!

they all believe in something outside of themselves to which they pray to....Im afraid i feel that there is some sort of thing there but the strength and wisdome comes from within...we live and learn


good stuff here

like it..thanks for what everyone has said...and i hasten to add that this is just my humble opinion.....

[leaf]

Originally Posted by purrdy

So leaf did you just stop? or did you need support during those early days?.....

See now the thing is logically you can do both. You stop and seek support to solidify your choices. In fact, support “can make a big difference”.

....I think we become so warped with our thinking that we lose all sight of who we are and all belief in what we can achieve...we lose sight of our inner strength....

Absolutely. And that warped thinking is made up of unhealthy beliefs and lies we tell ourselves. Disputing those is the foundation for growth.

....Im afraid i feel that there is some sort of thing there but the strength and wisdome comes from within...we live and learn

Yes, yes, yes!


Thanks for the discussion purrdy. Good stuff here is right!

[Muse]

After a nine day, non stop drinking binge, rational thinking was no where to be found. Half dead and hurting, only then did I think ah ha, things have got to change if I want to survive. I had to get to that point first. Then I was ready to try to re-think things differently.

[fianna]

Don,
I guess a lot of people know you & will accept what you post as reality. I do not know you, but do know people similar to my feelings about you!

It took me all day to ruminate & read about your post!!

OK, that is wonderful advice for someone who can actually dump the drugs or liquor down the drain.
But, it is really counter productive for the TRUE ADDICT who cannot stop on their own.
Have you known many ex-smokers who did NOT finish what they had 1st before using patches, hypnotism or what not? & what about over eaters . . . there is surgery for them

Your idea & theory sound logical; however they DO leave out the addict in a person that overcomes all reality.

Have you ever read or watched the screen version of “the Days of Wine & Roses”? It sure does depict the woman alcoholic well & the start of AA basically for men!!

I've known many people that were court or marriage remanded to AA or NA or ELSE!!!
What the "or else" said to me & multitudes was "NOTHING" compared to the unexplainable NEED to pick up!

Don't get me wrong there are drunks & weekend warriors, but then there are the people who have no way of battling this other than "help"

Not even being locked up, picked up or pulled from a body of water (that I fell into), nor living on the streets & sleeping on a park bench in NYC & other cities made this addict "see how easy it was to just NOT buy"
Everyday when I wake up there is a voice that tells me to “cop” instead, I pray, meditate & RUN to SV to keep me away from this demon!!

That's because it IS NOT THAT EASY FOR A TRUE ADDICT!!!
You can spend years making your life better & out of the blue comes the "bite in the ass" that WILL NOT go away!!
I do have that experience & I am neither young nor undereducated as IMHO your post implies; but possibly more educated & well-read than most, but DO know addiction has taken over some great minds.
To allude that all it takes is “DO NOT BUY”’ is pure unadulterated Bull shit that really could send people on the edge over it.
Now, unless you are purporting a world bereft of the “unfit” then IMHO your post smacks of insult.
Many of us do know that to quit means pour or flush it away, yet cannot always do that.

[Don S]

I don't believe my post was counterproductive to anyone, nor did I intend it to be insulting, fianna. You seem to divide the world into 'mere' users and 'true' addicts. I would say that they are all degrees of compulsive behavior which seems uncontrollable.
One of the founders of SMART Recovery routinely asks, at the thousands of meetings he has facilitated, if there are any ex-smokers in the audience. Lots of people raise their hands. He asks them how many of them used support groups or got help from others to quit their addiction. Rarely any. Some used the devices you describe. Most just stopped buying cigarettes, threw away what they had (or, as you say, finished them), and then quit. Lots of 'relapses', no doubt; I've heard it is very hard to quit smoking. But most people just do it.
"To allude that all it takes is “DO NOT BUY”’ is pure unadulterated Bull shit that really could send people on the edge over it."
How?

[leaf]

Originally Posted by fianna

To allude that all it takes is “DO NOT BUY”’ is pure unadulterated Bull shit that really could send people on the edge over it.
Now, unless you are purporting a world bereft of the “unfit” then IMHO your post smacks of insult.

I have read this post by Don dozens times over the past 4-5 years. He doesn't say (or even "allude") that "DO NOT BUY" is all it takes if you read past the first paragraph. Nope, what I read is that he believes it takes a change in thinking, a change in behavior and support from those who have been there can make a big difference.

That sounds like just about every Recovery program out there to me. Even the ones that work on "true addicts", "real alcoholics", and the "unfit".

[purrdy]

Hey Fi dont worry too much its just an opinion....its ok...I quite like Dons view on it all...its osund easy and for someone like my hubby who was hooked of ciggies he just quit..he said sod itl ill not buy them anymore...for others like me the addiction and beliefs and thoughts and emotional attachments behind it makes us weak and unable to belive in ourselves..so we DO need a lot of help or guidance....what ever fits if it works use it....


I will say this though.....WE are the ones who decide that WE have had enough...noone else.....JUST US on our own...we may need help but ultimately it was our own decission to stop...how we go about it is another matter....

I like the fact that this kind of post is being allowed here it gives us all a vast spectrum wfrom which to make our choices....AA isnt for everyone...etc......I like this 'village' because there is more freedome to express opinions such as this withourt I hope too mcuh flak as it is just as valid as any other way of choosing to get sober....

[fianna]

Originally Posted by leaf

I have read this post by Don dozens times over the past 4-5 years. He doesn't say (or even "allude") that that "DO NOT BUY" is all it takes if you read past the first paragraph. Nope, what I read is that he believes it takes a change in thinking, a change in behavior and support from those who have been there can make a big difference.

That sounds like just about every Recovery program out there to me. Even the ones that work on "true addicts", "real alcoholics", and the "unfit".

Leaf,
I am taking this as an insult!! I read all posts (that I choose to be of value) completely & then spend time with my a brain/b brain b4 I answer!!

For me S.M.A.R.T. makes perfect sense, but for others it doesn't nor does any other recovery program.

"I don't buy, I do not use" & I do not have a problem with my stance of stating "this is a non-drug home & that includes alcohol & cigarettes"

The way I quit any behavior that was detrimental to my well-being was to "just stop"
However, not everyone can do that!
For me: it's black and white . . . I do or I don't

I've seen too many people die & experienced that desperation too many times within myself or loved ones to believe that telling the current user to just stop, smacks of the Nancy Regan motto: "just say NO" - if it were that easy for ALL type of persons then our common bond of addiction would not draw us to sites such as this.

Hey, Leaf, I still love you, but always enjoy an intelligent encounter

Don, other people seem to know you. I do not. However, I was you before the addiction was me???

[purrdy]

Fi I like the fact that this thread is for 'alternatives' to 12 step stuff, so try not to get too upest...after all its just an opinion which works for some...its ok,

[Dan]

The original post of this thread is an opinion, drawn from what I call lived experience from the author. I may or may not agree with what is put forth. That's the beauty of being a sober adult and clear of mind, inasmuch as I qualify for being clear minded, I can read and absorb opinions from other people.

[fianna]

Originally Posted by Dan

The original post of this thread is an opinion, drawn from what I call lived experience from the author. I may or may not agree with what is put forth. That's the beauty of being a sober adult and clear of mind, inasmuch as I qualify for being clear minded, I can read and absorb opinions from other people.

Yes, so can I!! and if you read this, coupled with my other posts, you will see that I accept all views. However, in so much as this is forum, I take refuge in the fact that I can, indeed, disagree.

[fianna]

Originally Posted by purrdy

Fi I like the fact that this thread is for 'alternatives' to 12 step stuff, so try not to get too upest...after all its just an opinion which works for some...its ok,

Purrdy, as usual

[Muse]

I had to have my absoulute fill of drinking. Until then, nothing would work. I didn't know much about alternative programs when I was first trying to get sober. I surfed the net a bit and read some about SMART and RR. However, I didn't have much support or guidance. I am very undisciplined, worse then, then now. Over the past few years I have met good people like Don and recently leaf who have helped me become more familiar with alternative programs. It is a great opportunity to have options.

I was ready when I was finally ready. I wanted to stop drinking so bad, I wonder if I could have made any program work if I had put my efforts towards it? That is the belief I'm leaning towards now. I do believe there is more than one way to quit. Whatever works, but if something isn't working, you better think about trying another option. For me, that doesn't include drinking anything stronger than coffee.

[purrdy]

Originally Posted by fianna

Yes, so can I!! and if you read this, coupled with my other posts, you will see that I accept all views. However, in so much as this is forum, I take refuge in the fact that I can, indeed, disagree.

YES!...and what I find refreshing here Fi is that not only does this site recognise the fact thatAA is not the be all and end all they are actually providing a place for people with alternative views too......I dont think it was meant to be offensive to anyone.....we are all entitled to our opinions...and opinions sometimes change as we change....isnt it brilliant to see the wider picture in order to make up your mind about stuff!.....its great!



(and I think you are totally BRILLIANT! so there!...lol)

[Muse]

We evolve with our sobriety. Now that I can take a step back and reflect, take a look at the wider picture, I agree that AA isn't the only way. There was a time when I truly felt that it was. I don't know what my thoughts will reflect down the road. Time will tell...