I am soooo mad at myself!

[Velvet]

I am soo soo soo mad at me right now!
I could just scream. I have learned nothing. With everything I have learned over the past 2 years, I didn't put any of it to use.
My daughter is using meth. She tells me that she is PREGNANT. (yes, I am sure. I made her take a drug store pregnancy test at my house) She told me this last month. I tried to bury the thought. She is not working. The f**king creep is not working. So today she tells me she has an appointment for an abortion, on Thurs. I mean, she has to have an abortion, a meth baby, and he does heroin. OMG! No money, of course. He has been "hustling" drugs to get some money. But of course, they don't have enough. They need 200.00 more. (the cost is 470.00) So, she calls to ask me for money. I am yelling at her that it is not my responsibility. She says well, the baby is 1/2 mine and "f**k up" has half the money so I need to give her the rest. Oh, I can't stand it. She says she can't expect him to pay it all. OMG...again. And just why not??!!
I had to hang up on her. She's tweakin' this whole time, that I have been talking to her, so she is going on and on and on.....I couldn't stand it.
So, anyway, tonight is the last straw. She calls again..still high. Probably hasn't slept for days. I am shopping with my son. I'm trying to find jean sizes for him, while she is blah, blah, blah, in my ear. I hang up again. We leave the mall and I drive to the creep's, mom's house, where they stay. I got out of the car, call her on my cell, she comes to the door and I throw 100.00 at her and scream that this is the last and I mean the last of anything she will ever get from me.
I am just so pissed at myself for giving her the power to piss me off and for me giving her the money. I feel horrible. I am just so damn mad.
Thanks for letting me vent.