Men Only No Peeking Girls

[CAPTAINZING]

<CENTER>If Men Ruled the World...</CENTER>

<!--mstheme--><!--msimagelist--><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><!--msimagelist--><TBODY><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Birth control would come in ale or lager.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Tanks would be far easier to rent.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Garbage would take itself out.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

"Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops.(Or to the crooks.)<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football From A Different Camera Angle."<!--mstheme-->

<!--msimagelist-->

</TD></TR><!--msimagelist--><TR><!--msimagelist--><TD vAlign=baseline width=42><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--></TD><TD vAlign=top width="100%"><!--mstheme-->

Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>