part 2

[Chicago Patty]

and the saga continues.....

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It is the beginning of day 3 for my exA in detox. He was very jittery yesterday and I could see the effect that detox had on him. I didn't stay long at the hospital last night maybe 90 minutes. I was tired and frankly worn out from this situation. This my 8th go around with him in detox. I called his mom last night to tell her where he was. She is even more worn out than I am, luckily for her she lives 800 miles from us. During the conversation with her she mentioned so many things that my A had told her, but failed to tell me. LIke that he is suspended from work until 2-20-05 without pay. That he went to the Cash Store to get an advance last week of $400 with a finance charge of $177 due 2-10-05. That he considered going to N.Y. to see his son (10 yrs old) while he was off work. Since he will have limited funds he would stay at his ex wife's home. Well, needless to say I felt like I was run over by a mack truck. I spent the entire weekend with him and he failed to mention any of the above. No wonder he was so quick to check out of the flea bag hotel and let me take him in. I now understand why he was threatening suicide. I am forever feeling used. I KNOW it is the disease but I can't stand how he takes such advantage of me, or how I LET him. I called him at the hospital last night after speaking with his mom. I know he is suffering (but so am I) and the last thing he needs is me giving him grief, but damn it it hurts! I told him what his mom said, he denied wanting to go to N.Y. and said "oh I was going to tell you about the suspension." All I could say after that through my tears was "I just can't take anymore of this hurt, I feel so used by you." and hung up. That was 8pm last night. It is 11am now, still no word from him. What can he possibly say. It was probably not the time to confront him with this but when is there a good time with an alcoholic. I am not going to call or visit him unless he calls me first. He should be released sometime tomorrow, I don't know what his plans are at this point. All I know is that everything he owns is in my living room right now. I am slowly losing my desire to help this lying, betraying manipulating man. I know he is sick but come on during sober moments doesn't a shred of decency kick in!
Patty