In my previous blog I threatened to research what happiness is. What a trite thing to say. How big is happiness? Why be happy?
I also said in a previous blog or alluded to happiness not being as important as service, giving. Well I think it’s both, they’re not mutually exclusive. You do both, it’s a positive catch 22. Give and rejoice. How is that? It’s ok to be happy and it’s really good to give. Kindness is a good thing to give. A smile is a good thing to give as well. And crazy it feels...

Chordaroys

Been a while since I wrote here. In the beginning it was a very raw and hurt human who exclaimed to the word their pain and need for sobriety. The words in this blog where there to reinforce my commitment to that sobriety. It was very helpful at the beginning. Putting my hand up and saying that's it no more drinking and advertising it to the world was pandering to my ego and competitive self. I was challenging myself to keep off the drink. I've done that and I am only just starting to feel balanced...

Chordaroys

Here I am as clean as I've been for many years. Happy to be sober, not quite as happy as I thought I'd be generally speaking at this point in time. Why is that?

I started this blog in a desperate state. I was truely mortified by my behaviour, I had crossed what I thought to be the moral line. It jerked me into final submission. I had been fighting myself for so long and I've finally stopped. Now I want something deeper. I want to find true happiness, the happiness I read about in...

Chordaroys

Here it is one month into my sobriety and I can say I'm only just beginning to realise who I am and certainly what it is I want to do with my life. It's really interesting watching myself move through life without drinking at the party. I friend has observed that I have lost my spark but I think I've only just started to find my flame. Folk have told me it will take some time for me to find that part of me but I'm willing to keep it up to find it.

My biggest issues recently are answering...

Chordaroys

Yep. Nearly a month and getting very hard to say no to a drink. I've forgotten the pain that put me in the state to say no more drinking for me. How hard that is now as friends and family gather for Xmas celebrations.

I must keep my head down and stay prepared. Keep to the plan. Have words to say to those who ask me if I would like a drink innocently. It's going to be tough. I need to stay disciplined. Please greater power keep me clean.

Chordaroys