A Christmas Poem

[Rocketman]

>
> T'was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
> Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
> She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
> Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry.
>
> He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
> Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
> He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
> With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
>
> From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
> Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.
> With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
> When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
>
> Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',
> Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.
> And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
> "If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid."
>
> She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
> Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.