hello Chy

[wiebe001]

Hello Chy, and Don S and the rest of the folks here. I hope it's apropiate to post on a forum called sober village when everything I've tried so far to get sober has failed. If it gets deleted I will understand.

So here's an update. About 4 years ago I decided to quit alcohol on my own regardless of the consequenses. That worked for about a month after which I had some sort of siezure after which I could hardly walk for 3 months. Lots of muscle spasms and stuff. Couldn't think staight either. My girlfriend took care of me during that time but we were both living off of her money which was running out. So, even though I couldn't walk very well and couldn't ride my bike I could still function mentaly. I designed, and she built a website that let us live very comfortably for years.

Last year Mira left to go further on her own. She said she was tired of me sitting on the couch drinking beer and smoking ciggies. She wanted me to go out and do things with her. She's a young, good looking, highly inteligent woman. No surprise she wanted to move on I guess.

Okay, she left and the business wasn't making enough money to pay for everything on my own so I went on welfare.

Part of being on welfare here in Holland is that you either have to be looking for a job (which they decided I'm not capable of anymore) or be in treatment for the alcohol problem. For the last year my treatment has consisted of having to go to a sort of social center for hardcore addicts.

It's a great place. Just kidding. It's full of junkies and dealers. People talk about white and brown openly and drugs are being sold right in front of me because unfortunatly I've known some of those people for many years and they know I won't say anything about it. There's a seperate room where people can drink beer which I never use because those people are even less friendly than the junkies. Fights break out regularly.

I asked my contact at the addiction center how the Hell going to this place was going to help with my alcohol problem. She said it would help me develop a social life. Does she know what kind of people she wants me to become friends with? Most of those folks have spent most of their lives in jail. But she says it's beter than me sitting home alone drinking. Maybe she's right, but I doubt it.

As for the alcohol problem, I drink about 1 third of what I used to but that seems to be working backwards. When I don't drink much I come accross as a lot more drunk than when I've had a lot. Lots of trouble riding my bike and stuff. Still, I just refuse to drink more. I've had it with that stuff, and following the advice from the addiction center I'm reducing slowly.

Any way this post may either depress or motivate folks who have actualy managed to quit and stay away from the stuff.

Greetings from Holland
Wiebe