Common Laws

[CodieCW]

Brook's Law:
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Jones's Law:
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

First Law of Debate:
Never argue with a fool - people might forget who's who.

Biondi's Law:
If your project doesn't work, look for the part you didn't think was important.

Ducharme's Precept:
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Perrussel's Law:
There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong.

Vile's Law of Communication:
No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Seay's Law:
Nothing ever comes out as planned.

Westheimer's Rule:
To estimate the time it takes to do a task, estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. Thus, we allocate two days for a one-hour task.

Cheop's Law:
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules:
The first ninety percent of the task takes ten percent of the time; the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Sevareid's Law:
The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Schopenhauer's Law of Entropy:
If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.

Juhani's Law:
The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising.

Weinberg's First Law:
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

Malek's Law:
Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Gummidge's Law: The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

Shaw's Principle:
Build a system a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Heller's Law:
The first theorem of management is that it exists.

The Law of Volunteering:
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

The Law of Avoiding Oversell:
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

The Law of Common Sense:
Never accept a drink from a urologist.

The Law of Reality:
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

The Law of Self Sacrifice:
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

The Law of Motivation:
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

Boob's Law:
You always find something in the last place you look.

Weiler's Law:
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Law of Probable Dispersal:
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Law of Drunkenness:
You can't fall off the floor.

Law of Volunteer Labor:
People are always available for work in the past tense.

Conway's Law:
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

Iron Law of Distribution:
Them that has, gets.

Law of Cybernetic Entomology:
There is always one more bug.

Osborne's Law:
Variables won't; constants aren't.

Main's Law:
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Weinberg's Second Law:
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.

1st Law of Holes:
First step in getting out of the hole your dug for yourself is to stop digging.

2nd Law of Holes:
If a boss digs himself into a hole, all subordinates are expected to jump in with him.

3rd Law of Holes:
If a subordinate digs a hole, never expect the boss to jump in with him.

4th Law of Holes:
If you expect to miss the holes others have left in your path to success, stop looking back at the ones you just climbed out of.