Anyone stuggling? Post here!!

[Robvant]

Thanks all for the kudos. Sobriety and this new design for living is an awesome way for me. Life is pretty good today, and I'm told it gets better!!

To all who struggle, it is VERY much worth the effort. Think about it, most good things are worth the effort.

[housewitch]

Its reassuring to be able to say "Yes I am not drunk, but I am still struggling" I seem to lurch from one feeling to another, total despair to high over confidence and then I fall flat on my face. I have been unwell and I suppose thats something to do with it.

Robyn congrats on a year. Will I ever get to a year I ask myself?

I have been reading some posts here and they help. Especially reading posts from people who have made it.

so even though we struggle, nothing ventured nothing gained

[Highwayman]

Hi there folks, nice thread Gianna and kind of you to be thinking of us all still on struggle street. I hope we can brainstorm here on effective ways to finally obtain sobriety. Personally, I seem to travel alright and then I start to suffer from extreme depression and anxiety during abstinance. I feel that while I am drinking, my life is slightly manageable compared to the unmanaged state I am in while depressed.......hence I justify my drinking. It has been over 5 years now of dedication .........I wonder how long it will take.

[indigo]

Hi HM it can be any day you really, really want and that sounds like climbing everest, it is however doable second by second if necessary, alcohol is depressant so it's a viscious cycle. The old 'oh I need a drink I feel down' temporary relief....progressing to blackouts etc. then the next stage morning after 'I'm depressed again I wish I hadn't taken that drink last night I'm a failure'. and so it goes on until we say no I'm not going to pick up I'm going to talk a long walk, bath anything which beats the stress
hugs

[Giyana]

Unfortunately I think there will always be days of struggle. The most sober person here will suddenly be struck with a craving, hence the need to understand that the craving leaves in about 20 minutes or less. (One needs a 20-minute distraction-maybe one of those small decks of cards to play a bit of Solataire?) Sounds stupid, but I have to have something right at hand...

I can truly say I went 13 years sober without a craving and then the "perfect storm" hit: chic NYC party, I walked in the door and was handed a glass of Champagne for the toast, and drank it, just as though those 13 years had never happened.

Knowing what I know now, I (hopefully) would have just quit again, but at the time I was haunted by the AA thought that I had just lost 13 years!

Whatever. The point is there is always an ambush waiting, so be ready. I often think of cancer patients and wonder if they could suddenly get an hour's reprieve from their cancer so easily, would any resist? We have something quite different, in that the more we abstain the more it becomes a way of life.

I am so grateful I don't have cancer...

Strugglers, temporary or intensive, keep posting. Magic is worked behind the scenes!

Gi

[Giyana]

...and you are right housewitch: nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[CindyTX]

Such wonderful advice. I will start a journal and write write write... I love to write anyway. I am having huge troubles letting go of the past but I'm working at it.

Thanks

[WingsFreed]

Great posts gang.

Yepper Annie, alcohol= depression, big time for us.

Highwayman, I think it's like that for most of us, we get our sorry butts sober then the depression kicks in. I finally did something about that a couple years ago to help, I went on anti-depressants (reluctantly) but they helped, I stopped drinking during that time, what a relief. Maybe it's something you should think about, the first couple weeks using them, whew I had to fight the urge to drink then it got easy, then the depression lifted.....and why on earth I went back is a huge mystery to me today....oh wait I know why, it's because I'm addicted to the damn stuff, let my guard down. I'm off the anti-depressants, I'm not struggling with depression so much today. My Dr said most people use them for a year, it balances things out, which they did, then I got to smart for my own good thinking it might be different going back at it, lol, duh duh duh to our thinking at times.

Gianna amen sister

The point is there is always an ambush waiting, so be ready.

House you talk about making it, none of us will ever be totally free from this, that's why we need to be with others like ourselves Look at Gianna 13 free of it, then boom...I had an eye opener, a gal I know where I am was sober 20 years..20 20 20 years, she slid back in a bad way struggled over two years getting back on track, the good new is she didn't GIVE UP, none of us can afford to give up, one foot in front of the other.

Cindy, oh that darn past eh...hope you learn to leave the past where it belongs, in the past. Journaling is a great tool, you'll be amazed at what you read when you look back a month from now, how our emotions continually change.

It's so easy to relate to everyone's posts, goes to show we are all the SAME, we're not ALONE.

Onward we go ((((((Strugglers)))))))

[Rocketman]

Gianna, I like your thread. There is some good stuff here that has helped me today.

Robvant, Congrats on one year.

[Highwayman]

Hi there.....I love the support but sitting here pissed again. I can't even remember the names of those previously posting.....thanks you lot

[indigo]

HM your day is gonna come, you keep coming back we're here.

[Dad26]

Hello everyone,

I just registered but it took only one post that I read to hit home...

I've been working half way across the US, 1800 miles from home, since February. I spend $1,000 a month to go home and get my kids two weekends (worth every penny) every month but the remainder of the time I'm in a cramped hotel room by myself and cannot, despite praying and will, stop myself from throwing down a twelve pack every night. I'm doing well in work, but waking every morning is a horrific onslaught of guilt, worry, anxiety and shame.

My longest period of sobriety was earlier this year, 60 days, went to AA but got tired of the cliques and disingenious offers to help anyone anytime. I'm hesitant to hook up with a local group where I'm working...small town, middle America, and you can't sneeze without everyone knowing and telling everyone else.

Wish I could offer a solution but guess that's why I'm posting. Thanks for listening, open to any and all suggestions.

[CDawg]

Dad,

Have you ever considered online meetings? They offer an even higher level of anonymity, and a lot of them are more solution based than cliche based. Here in the village we have both 12-step and cognitive based meetings, six days a week. There's a schedule in the live chat forum.

But I didn't come here to plug the meetings. I came to thank Gi for starting this thread. I struggle in my head at times, just with making sure that I'm on the right path and doing the right thing for the right reasons. Just because you stop using doesn'tmean that life automatically gets hunky dory. It just means that you're better equipped to deal with it...

Peace,

C

[ExGrandPoobah]

Just a quick thought... if you're struggling and posting here, do you realize what a step forward that is?

When I was out there, I didn't struggle... I went with the first impulse.

Maybe what is viewed as a problem is actually growing pains?

dan

[Rocketman]

Hi Dad,
Nice to meet you and welcome.
Most of us here are struggling in one way or the other. That is why we come here.
Stick around and be part of our family.

NEVER ALONE
NEVER AGAIN

[Chy]

Hi Dad and welcome well you found us and I hope we can help.

but waking every morning is a horrific onslaught of guilt, worry, anxiety and shame

Oh gawd that sent shivers... I remember that all to well... and glad I no longer have to wake like that..... neither do you.

Hang out with us instead of grabbing that 12 pack tonight.

[indigo]

Hi and welcome dad and yes I too remember those days only too well, as Chy said we have fun and you know we wake up feeling well.

[Giyana]

Dad, it is such a step forward to post here; it is the beginning of a new life even though it may not seem so right now. Keep posting.

CDawg, thanks for the compliment, but it was when I forgot the "struggle" after 13 years of sobriety that I took that one glass of Champagne that started it all over again. Hence this thread. May I never forget each morning that I can wake up and say: "I am so glad I did not drink yesterday."

By the way, Dad. that is a bit of a play on this thought: "I never wake up in the morning wishing I had drunk that beer, martini, wine, whatever...yesterday."

I am so impressed that you had the courage to post; so many people sign up here and then are afraid to become "visible". Crazy when you think about it. We all share this condition. I will not even call it a problem, or an addiction, or any word that carries a negative. Would you rather have the "condition" of say...blindness? Cancer?

We all have something, and having this "condition" of alcohol/drug addiction has, ironically ADDED to my life. Look at all the people here...really quality, interesting, around the world people who care about...YOU!!!!

Keep posting,
Gianna

[WingsFreed]

Hi Dad....welcome to the village

Originally Posted by Gianna

Dad, it is such a step forward to post here; it is the beginning of a new life even though it may not seem so right now. Keep posting.

I am so impressed that you had the courage to post; so many people sign up here and then are afraid to become "visible".
Keep posting,

Gianna I'm with you on this....glad you're posting too Dad, keep coming back, it really helps talking things through...we've all been there, some of us still there. You're not ALONE.

Thanks for posting,

[indigo]

You all said it "We are not alone"
wings did the power outage change your looks sweetie?