New here...so lost

[Lucy1620]

I found this forum and it seems like a wonderful place for support. I am thankful there are places like this out there.

My family member who is an alcoholic and an addict is my Brother in law. It's breaking my husband's heart and destroying my mother in law and I just don't know what to do.

BIL drinks constantly and takes any drugs he can find. FIL has Parkinsons, and he steals pills. Around Christmas, BIL called my husband to say he wanted to kill himself. He apparently told some other people, and an ambulance came. He was held for only 24 hours then released. He went back home and returned to his old ways. Last month, he agreed to go to a week-long treatment program at a local hospital. We were all very hopeful. However, I guess it didn't do much. My husband and I live in CA, and the family lives in MI, so we aren't around to see anything. While we thought BIL was improving and making strides, he was apparently back to his using ways. He is having issues with a former girlfriend, and is now "trying to go to prison" although no one can really discern how.

It's so awful. MIL has so much to deal with, as FIL having Parkinsons, and we aren't there to help. At the same time, we know that ONLY BIL can make a change. BIL currently lives with the ILs and MIL is now considering kicking him out. I know that's probably best, but it's still so hard on her. I wish I could make it easier. BIL is now being purposefully vindictive and hurtful to my husband about living so far away, making him feel guilty even though he shouldn't. And I just don't know what to do.

I guess I don't even know what I'm asking for as far as help, but just needed to express the ache in my heart. I know that BIL is a good person, a loving person who we all miss desperately. I don't know that he'll ever make the choice to beat this, and it's so hard to see the wake of his actions.