The Sober Village Addiction Recovery Forums http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/ Alcohol and Substance Abuse Recovery and Discussion Forums en Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:26:17 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg The Sober Village Addiction Recovery Forums http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/ Welcome CharlieC http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18044-welcome-charliec.html Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:54:18 GMT Glad to have you and welcome to the forums! :) Glad to have you and welcome to the forums! :) ]]> Newcomer Introductions Chy http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18044-welcome-charliec.html risking vulnerbility http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/twelve-step-recovery-na/18043-risking-vulnerbility.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 08:11:33 GMT for a long time I had problems tearing down some of the walls I had built up over the many yrs of using .. I really had a hard time opening up & sharing on a deeper level, with risking vulnerbility. major trust issues. Im not anywhere near as bad as i was when I first arrived to rooms of NA but still not still not where Id like to be or where I think i should be..I know I must tear down those barriors even more & open up more on a deeper level to continue growing .. its been an ongoing process but i guess I'm "right where I'm suppose to be" at this stage .. damn i really do hate that saying lol ... whats been your experience with allowing yourself to be vulnerble?? ]]> Twelve Step Recovery- NA S.D.11 http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/twelve-step-recovery-na/18043-risking-vulnerbility.html Self-Sponsorship http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/twelve-step-recovery-na/18042-self-sponsorship.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:36:29 GMT from the archives of narcotics anonymous NA WAY newsetter found at NA WAY.org ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~... from the archives of narcotics anonymous NA WAY newsetter found at NA WAY.org
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Self-sponsorship
During my recovery, I've periodically lapsed into sponsoring myself. If I were the only addict who had ever done this, it would be humiliating, but not worthy of writing an article for The NA Way. However, it seems this resistance to allowing others to help us is common among addicts. So, if you answer "yes" to any of the following questions, then maybe you, too, have some experience with self-sponsorship:
1) When you were new, did you resist getting a sponsor, because you didn't want anyone telling you what to do?
2) Was your first sponsor a "temporary" sponsor, because you feared making long-term commitments?
3) Have you asked someone to sponsor you, and then not called for days, weeks, or months because you didn't know what to say?
4) Do you not call your sponsor because he or she appears to be busy or tired?
5) Have you changed sponsors three or more times because you didn't like their feedback?
6) Do you avoid calling because you don't want to hear what your sponsor will say?
7) Do you ever feel grateful that you got your sponsor's answering machine?
8) Have you lied to your sponsor?
9) Have you taken service positions without talking to your sponsor first, and then felt overwhelmed by the demands of the positions? Did you ever quit a service position without talking to your sponsor first?
10) Have you ever really needed to talk to your sponsor, but when you called, said you were just checking in?
11) Did you ever wait to call your sponsor about a problem until you figured out the solution?*
12) Do you talk to your sponsor about day-to-day activities, but not about the steps and your recovery program?
13) Do you give yourself reading or writing assignments on the steps, instead of asking for help?
14) When you have a sponsee with a problem beyond your experience, do you seek your sponsor's experience?
15) Have you asked your sponsor for direction on an issue, only to be reminded that you have not followed the direction you were already given on the same problem? Or, do you argue with your sponsor and refuse to follow his or her direction?
16) Did you ever start over on step work or an inventory because it was so long since you had worked on it that you couldn't find your previous writing?
17) Have you kept a sponsor who was physically ill and unavailable, rather than asking someone else to sponsor you?
18) When your sponsor died or moved away, did you resist getting another sponsor because no one could ever replace him or her?
Simply put, self-sponsorship is the resistance against seeking and accepting the love and experience of a sponsor. This can lead to delayed or inferior solutions to the problems we face, isolation from fellow addicts, and eventual relapse. Not all sponsors are perfect—but even with their imperfections, allowing a sponsor to help can significantly increase the likelihood that we'll be able to stay clean and have more rapid relief when we do face troubles.
If you don't have a sponsor, find someone who is available and has a working knowledge of the Twelve Steps. If you haven't been calling your sponsor, start calling on a regular basis and express interest in working the steps. If your sponsor is genuinely unavailable, then find a new one. If your sponsor suggests that you do something, try doing it and check out the results, rather than arguing against it. Remember that you don't have to have the solution to a problem before discussing it with your sponsor. You are not an imposition; you are providing your sponsor a chance to fulfill our primary purpose and to experience the joys associated with being of service to another addict.
Despite my periodic lapses into self-sponsorship, all of the significant, positive, life-changing experiences in my recovery have occurred through working the steps with a sponsor.* Give yourself a chance to let go of your mistrust, anger, resentment, fear, and loneliness and get a sponsor. As they told me when I got here: Try it for thirty days, and if it doesn't work, we'll refund your misery.
Craig PW, California, USA ]]> Twelve Step Recovery- NA S.D.11 http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/twelve-step-recovery-na/18042-self-sponsorship.html Flighty February!! (formerly A January Jest!) http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/peer-support-buddy-groups/18041-flighty-february-formerly-january-jest.html Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:09:46 GMT Hi guys, and welcome to February. Since it's a leap year, we will have 29 days in this month!

In keeping with the flight theme, here is a pic of an Indian yellow-nosed albatross I took a while back off Sydney.

May we all fly freely - this month and beyond . . . (sorry, that sounds really naff, but I couldn't help myself :confused-smiley-013)

]]> Peer Support Buddy Groups Fifi http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/peer-support-buddy-groups/18041-flighty-february-formerly-january-jest.html Dan Farish: Recovery Coaching http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/library/18040-dan-farish-recovery-coaching.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:53:58 GMT Passing it on... ---Quote--- Hi Chy!! I enjoyed reading your Linkedin profile and admire your commitment to helping others struggling... Passing it on...

Quote:
Hi Chy!!

I enjoyed reading your Linkedin profile and admire your commitment to helping others struggling with addiction. Carrying the recovery message seems to come naturally for those of us that have found our own recovery. It’s fantastic to be working with other recovery professionals and I look forward to working with you in the future. If there’s anything I can do to help spread the word about what you do, please let me know.

I’ve spent the past year studying to become an Addiction Recovery Coach and have recently completed my second course of study. In case you’re not familiar with Addiction Recovery Coaching, here’s a brief description about what we do (and don’t do).

Addiction Recovery Coaching services fall somewhere between those of an addiction counselor and an A.A. sponsor, although it is neither. Unlike a professional addiction counselor, a Recovery Coach’s duties don’t involve mental evaluations or psychological counseling, while an A.A. sponsor’s primary responsibility is to teach A.A.’s 12 Steps. While the role of a Recovery Coach differs in some respects, we help clients to connect with many recovery resources, including counselors, 12 Step groups and more.

Simply put, Recovery Coaching’s primary focus is not on the addict’s weaknesses, but on his or her strengths. By focusing on a client’s assets and strengths, we help people identify and remove obstacles blocking the path to recovery and assist them in getting their lives back on track. Rather than dictating what the addict needs to do in order to remain clean and sober, a Recovery Coach works together with the client to identify his or her own strengths, interests and goals. The Recovery Coach then helps the client create a personalized step-by-step plan to achieve his or her goals. Achievable, measured steps help clients move towards a new life and teach clients how to replace old, addictive behavior with new, positive habits. While most anyone could choose to do those things alone, Recovery Coaches guide people along and hold them accountable in achieving goals, much like the accountability a personal fitness trainer offers clients wanting to stick to a fitness plan.

As you know, a solid aftercare plan is a critical part of relapse prevention and Recovery Coaching helps recovering addicts/alcoholics to move forward in sobriety, especially in early recovery, which is the time when most of us feel “stuck” and uncertain how to make the transition from old habits to a new, sober life.

One of a Recovery Coach’s main duties involves helping clients connect with other recovery professionals and resources, and that’s where you come in. Many recovering addicts need licensed counselors, sober home assistance, AA sponsors, etc., as part of their overall recovery program. I would like to exchange referrals with you. In exchange for referring Coaching clients to me, I’d be happy to recommend you whenever my clients are in need of your services.

You work hard to help recovering addicts achieve sobriety – helping your clients to connect with an experienced, committed Addiction Recovery Coach greatly increases their chances of staying clean and sober.

Most importantly, networking allows us the opportunity to encourage and empower people struggling with addiction, in order to rebuild their lives. By working together, we can help them become active participants in their own recovery, which is truly what we are all about.

Nearly all Coaching sessions are conducted either online or via telephone, so I’m able to work with clients nationwide, or even in other countries. My personal Coaching style is friendly, down-to-earth, yet to the point and professional, with a spiritual emphasis for those choosing to embrace it. I consider my own 20-year experience with addiction to be an asset for those in early recovery. I’m also open to all types of recovery methods and my belief is that “whatever works for each of us is the best method of recovery”.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions and I look forward to working with you in the near future. Thanks, Chy!

Dan Farish
Breaking Free Recovery Coaching

Breaking Free Addiction Recovery
]]> The Library Chy http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/library/18040-dan-farish-recovery-coaching.html day 14 http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18039-day-14-a.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:15:58 GMT Hi,

I'm attempting a self counsel 30 day alcohol challenge detox which I am 14 days sober now. Then I plan to keep taping myself weekly until I feel I no longer have to or want to think about alcohol.

You can find my diary on youtube if you look up xotedfles

I wish everyone struggling like me, freedom from alcoholism.

Best Wishes ]]> Newcomer Introductions xoted1 http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18039-day-14-a.html N.A. Slogans http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/twelve-step-recovery-na/18038-n-slogans.html Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:03:56 GMT na slogans groovy things heard in na meetings Meeting makers make it We learn the program wont work if we adapt the program to our lives we must... na slogans
groovy things heard in na meetings
Meeting makers make it
We learn the program wont work if we adapt the program to our lives we must adapt our lives to the program
One disease,one sponsor,one program,one fellowship
More will be revealed
When in doubt take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth
Nothing changes if nothing changes
Things that aren't of a spiritual nature wont fly
Just for today
Turn it over
You are a member when you say you are so act like it
What I cant do alone we can do together
Never alone never again
Im still lost but at least I can see where Im going
Anxiety is the price we pay for playing God
If you don't find recovery at a meeting chances are you didn't bring it with you
If you do what you always did you will get what you always got
Im allergic to drugs every time I use them I break out in a pair of handcuffs
Feelings aint facts
My responsibility is my ability to respond to what God puts into my life
First things first
Let go let God
What you put into a situation is exactly what you will get out of a situation
If Im not the problem there is no solution
HALTS-Hungry Angry Lonely Tired or Serious
Feelings are like clouds if we refuse to cling onto them
Live in the here and now separate from the problem
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy
Call your sponsor not your connection it is cheaper
Happiness comes from the inside not the outside
A day at a time a minute at a time or a second at a time
If you are going to pray don't worry if your going to worry don't pray
EGO stands for easing God out
Stay away from people,places,things and situations that may lead you to using
My spirituality shows in my attitude …always
Write about your feelings don't act on them
Ink pens can be unmanageability removers if you write everyday
Speak in a way that reflects the NA way of life
Principles before personalities
Live and let live don't complicate
If you were that newcomer that got that first hug be there to give that hug to a new comer its your responsibility
Reality is a power greater than ourselves
Show an attitude of gratitude
Share your experience,strength and hope
Love and fear are opposites which is your higher power?
What comes around goes around
An expectation is a premeditated resentment
When you stop treating youself like an ass,those around you will stop
Faith cant be taught…it can only be caught
Procrastination is fear in five syllables
Move your feet first…the feelings will follow
Don't worry about tomorrow…God is already there
If God brings you to it…he will bring you thru it
Im a very persuasive person,I can persuade myself of anything
Keep your hands in your pants and give the newcomer a chance.
Suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.
The fear of feeling the pain is worse than the pain itself.
Depression is anger turned inward
Before engaging your mouth…make sure your mind is in gear
Are you around recovery or in recovery
Fear =frustration, ego anxiety and resentment
N.U.T.S…not using the steps
Theres still a monkey on my back…Lack of stepwork wakes him up.
Id rather be a resentment than to have one.
If we don't change…our clean date will.
No one can piss you off without your permission.
To get out of a problem we must spiritually grow thru it
The choices you make today will directly affect tomorrow.
Faith is fear turned inside out.
God is in control…your projector is broken.
When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
Don't let anyone walk in your head wearing dirty shoes.
If you fail to plan…then you plan to fail.
Fake it till you make it.
Act as if…
Switching from obsession to compulsion is like changing seats on the Titantic.
You don't have a problem…you just haven't found a solution you like…
Are you pole vaulting over mouse turds…
Until the pain becomes extreme…change wont happen…
Resentments are like pissing your pants…they affect us more than others…
Don't tease your disease with people places things and situations.
N.A. has a chair with your asses name on it…
You spot it..you got it…
Anger is fear in a party dress.
If you are eating a sh!* sandwich…chances are you ordered it.
If nothing changes…then nothing changes…
Its not happening to you …its happening for you. ]]> Twelve Step Recovery- NA S.D.11 http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/twelve-step-recovery-na/18038-n-slogans.html Frustration http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/twelve-step-recovery-na/18036-frustration.html Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:20:57 GMT I'm frustrated. Some good stuff was posted here recently tat was nothing but recovery-related material, & for some reason someone saw fit to delete it all without reading it . NOTING IN IT WAS SPAM .NOTHING!!!! i'm an addict i recovery who is just sharing some great recovery related stuff I had found on the internet. some was from na way which is the narcotics anonymous offiacial quarterly newsletter . others was from early non approved na stuff I have found online .I'm not affiliated with any site group or any other BS . so I dont understand what the problem is/was .. I dont want to get banned i want to to share some of my recovery & learn from others here also.. I'm a very active member of na . narcotics anonymous is a very big part of my life today .thing is i think somone took it apon themselves to ban me without even really reading what i posted .. or maybe they really dont understand what NA is about ...soo please id like some insight so this doesnt happen . i want to be apart of this recovery forum so if i didsomething wrong please help me so i see that it doesnt happen again . Thanks .. Bruce ]]> Twelve Step Recovery- NA S.D.11 http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/twelve-step-recovery-na/18036-frustration.html Welcome ShyDawg http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18030-welcome-shydawg.html Sat, 28 Jan 2012 13:59:55 GMT Hi Dawg, (don't be Shy...lol)
Welcome to the sober village.
Glad you are here.
:yelclap: ]]> Newcomer Introductions Rocketman http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18030-welcome-shydawg.html Oxymorons http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/comedy-club/18029-oxymorons.html Sat, 28 Jan 2012 12:21:23 GMT 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the... 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
When we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control
When you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? ]]> The Comedy Club indigo http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/comedy-club/18029-oxymorons.html The dead duck http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/comedy-club/18028-dead-duck.html Sat, 28 Jan 2012 12:17:30 GMT A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the... A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
>
> After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
>
> The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
> "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..
>
> "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
>
> The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
>
> The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
>
> The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
>
> The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
> The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. “£150!” she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
> The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."
> ]]> The Comedy Club indigo http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/comedy-club/18028-dead-duck.html Welcome jeffreyruss http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18025-welcome-jeffreyruss.html Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:02:15 GMT Hi jeffrey, Welcome to the village. Glad you are here. :clap: Hi jeffrey,
Welcome to the village.
Glad you are here.
:clap: ]]> Newcomer Introductions Rocketman http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18025-welcome-jeffreyruss.html Kilgores Bardo http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/alcoholism-recovery/18024-kilgores-bardo.html Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:57:36 GMT “We do not know how to escape the tyranny of the convenient monsters we have created” - Henry Miller A Bardo refers to the transitional stages... “We do not know how to escape the tyranny of the convenient monsters we have created” - Henry Miller

A Bardo refers to the transitional stages between lifetimes in Buddhist tradition. It's the stripping of the layers of the onion after death. The exposing of the true self after so long in the dream of material existence. If I am to survive this dream, intact, and find meaning, happiness, or at the very least self acceptance, ... then I must induce this bardo state myself within this incarnation...

I am demoralized. I haven't drank in three days, but there seems little reason not to. When I drink, I'm hazing my reality in a diaphanous cloud of warmth and disregard. I am able again to feel what I no longer can alone, or, maybe never could alone. I am able to disregard the meaning of the irrelevant quirks that haunt my everyday. My anxiety drops, sunken in alcohol. My emotions bubble up, no longer suppressed by the insistent barriers I've formed long ago as defense. I'm able to purge myself of my depression, my insanity, for however short a time...

Sometimes I think, the problem isn't staying sober, but allowing sobriety at all. There was once a time when I stayed drunk always. I want to throw up when I think of that time... why? Perhaps sobriety is the curse of man, spirits bring us closer to the gods, and the gods destroy us when we get too close...

I fell in love with a friend, and now she won't talk to me. I have to live with that. Something else to live with. Another regret, embarrassment, torture to endure. I'm never good enough for the people that I love. I'm never good enough, kind enough, mysterious enough? It's easy to turn on women, you just have to lie to them. Refusing to lie is refusing to live. I live alone because I don't like lying. But I used to be so good at lying, to myself .. about myself. Truth is never appreciated. People want to have fun, not see truth. I'm too honest, too open about myself, and I'm crucified for it. Like Bukowski said, people don't want truth, they want beautiful lies. Beautiful lies. I have no beauty or lies left in me...

I dumped out a half bottle of brandy yesterday.

I'm terribly depressed.

I haven't been eating.

I've been smoking incessantly.

This is all I am right now. Sorry. ]]> Alcoholism Recovery KilgoreTrout http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/alcoholism-recovery/18024-kilgores-bardo.html Welcome nelson1 http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18023-welcome-nelson1.html Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:04:40 GMT Hi and welcome to the sober village. Please make yourself at home. Glad you are here. :yeah: Hi and welcome to the sober village.
Please make yourself at home. Glad you are here.
:yeah: ]]> Newcomer Introductions Rocketman http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18023-welcome-nelson1.html Welcome Braiden. http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18022-welcome-braiden.html Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:01:44 GMT Hi Braiden, Welcome to the sober village. I see your finding you way around. Thats a good thing. Tell us a little about yourself so we can get to... Hi Braiden,
Welcome to the sober village.
I see your finding you way around. Thats a good thing.
Tell us a little about yourself so we can get to know you better.
Glad you joined us.

:clap: ]]> Newcomer Introductions Rocketman http://www.thesobervillage.com/forums/newcomer-introductions/18022-welcome-braiden.html