Patiently suicidal

[CharlieG]

Patiently suicidal
By Charlie G

Patiently suicidal,
I was this.
Still am to a certain degree, but,
Now I wait,
Still patient, but,
With a gleam, instead of despair.
The emptiness, the loneliness, the guilt, the anger,
Can NOT be stuffed down & forgotten,
Remembering, intuitively, to walk around the pile when we get too close.
I believe "I" should try the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous,
Though my problem may not be with alcohol.
It is a spiritual principle, that the whole world could live by.
Should live by.
It teaches us to walk through, not around, our deepest fears.
So we no longer smile at the world while inside we are begging,
Pleading,
Crying,
For help,
For happiness,
For peace,
Inner peace,
Sounds sweet,
So unobtainable.
It is.
Obtainable,
Reachable.
For the asking.
Ask.
What took me years to sink to such a level,
Is left behind in 12 steps.
Religion is for people who are afraid of Hell.
Spirituality is for people who've been there.
Ask