Good Morning-1st post

[The Quest]

First I would just like to say thank you to whoever created this forum.

Life has not been what I hoped and lately I feel like I'm hitting rock bottom.

A little history:

I grew up with an alcoholic mother, moved around much of my life, started abusing alcohol in my early 20's, married at 22, have two wonderful children, recently graduated college, and now looking to start life... again.

I've attended AA several times in an attempt to quit drinking but have yet to have success. I'm not currently attending meetings. I'm not to the point that I'm dependent on alcohol, but I don't drink responsibly. My actions when I'm drunk have caused many problems in my marriage. The biggest problem I've had trying to quit is the social aspect of drinking. It always seems there's a bbq, ball game, or party and therefore and excuse to drink. I've managed well lately but I'm afraid of the slippery slope.

My story lately:

Over the past 3 years my wife has been abusing prescription meds. She's told me that it was because of her stress associated with her job and my on and off again drinking. About a month ago she went on a bender and has not come out of it. She moved in with her parents for about 2 weeks and is now living with a friend. She has told me that she knows she has a problem and is working on it (sounds like something I've said before). I've been getting a lot of blame lately, questioning too much, told I'm being demanding and dominant.

I value my family dearly. It feels as if everything is falling apart and there's nothing I can do. I broke down and cried pretty hard yesterday, and then again some this morning as well.

Between my problems and hers I'm not quite sure where to even start. But I don't feel like I can keep going like this.

Thanks.