Had a bit of a rough week...

[equus]

On Thursday last week while D was working away he disappeared for a few hours - when he did get in touch he was drunk. It's happened before when he's been away but he's denied it at the time - this time he really couldn't have done.

I think on the other occasions the bigger part of me knew but at the same time I saw him come home and still not drink, not go bonkers and not slip back into the state 2 years ago. I guess those two things didn't reckon up very easily, certainly not easily enough for me to really know what was happening, it was enough to worry me though.

It's been harder to deal with than perhap's I'd have thought, I've been and felt very emotional, got very angry and realised alot of things for myself.

We're working through it. It's not plain sailing, there's times of being sorry for both of us, sometimes alot of anger, sometimes support and sometimes just two people seeing things firmly from their own point of view. We both want to get through it together though.

If I needed a reminder that it doesn't remove the last two years it came today in the form of D's bonus £6,921 - double for dollars (more than 20% of his annual pay - this is extreme in the UK). Whatever this has meant or been it hasn't removed that D has worked harder than ever before and is very much holding his own as a prized employee.

Bleh! I've had better weeks though....