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The Bear and the Atheist.

This is a discussion on The Bear and the Atheist. within the The Comedy Club forums, part of the The Village Square category; I found this a few years back and shared it elsewhere, but thought I'd post it here for those who ...

 
 
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Old 04-24-2009, 11:19 PM   #1
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Default The Bear and the Atheist.

I found this a few years back and shared it elsewhere, but thought I'd post it here for those who haven't seen it. It always makes me smile.


An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that evolution had created.

"What majestic trees !

What a powerful river !

What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow.

"OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed.

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the powerful river stopped flowing.

A brilliant light shone upon the man and a thunderous voice came from all around,
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER? "

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years and under these circumstances but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? "

"VERY WELL" said the voice.

The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.

The huge bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed and spoke............
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."

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