Spouses Level of Involvement in Addicts Recovery

[TheWillingSkeptic]

I have a question...

I am about 11 months clean, have been going to NA meetings and just recently finished going over step 1 with my sponsor.

My wife has always been rather skeptical of NA, thinking that referring to what "afflicts" me as a disease and turning things over to a higher power as a cop out...
Almost every time I return from a meeting she asks "what did you learn", and wants a sort of synopsis of what I did and what/if I got out of it...
Many times I react defensively feeling like I should not have to report to her every time I go to a meeting, read something...etc...

Now, I am no different than any other addict in that I have failed her miserably in almost every way imaginable...but we are still best friends...I think she still loves me, she says she does. But she doesn't believe I love her because of my defensiveness in many situations. She feels like I am not wanting to share this stuff with her. I do...just not right when I come in the door...and maybe not even all of it!

A while ago, when I was about half way done with my 1st step, she found it and read it...she read some things that made her very upset...and our life changed as a result...
I was very upset that she had done that but she said she had to know who she was considering staying with...

Anyway...she also wants to be able to read it periodically...

Am I wrong for not wanting her to "quiz" me on meetings and such? Should I just bite my tongue and report everything I am thinking, feeling and such any time she asks because of all the deception that I subjected her to before?

Any thoughts would be appreciated...

Thanks you...