My drinking is ruining my relationship

[laporsha24]

Hello,
my name is Porsha and I have a seriouse drinking problem. This weekend I went to a party with my boyfriend and I embarassed him in front of his family and friends. I was so drunk at the party that I started dancing with another man, and when it came time to leave I fell and hit my head on the concrete in front of everyone. The fall ended up knocking me out, and the next day I had to go to the hospital. I am scared that if I do not have the stregnth to fight my problem I am going to end up ruining my relationship, and killing myself. Right now it seems that my drinking problem is bigger than I am and to hard to overcome. My boyfriend is so mad at me right now that he is having a hard time supporting me in my decision to stop drinking, and he does not think that I really want help. If anyone has any advice to offer, I would love to hear from you.

[Rocketman]

Hi Porsha,
Welcome to the Village.
You already took a huge step by admitting you have a drinking problem.
The Sober Village is a good place to start. Lots of good people here with that will share their experience, strengh & hope.
They will be checking in shortly.
Keep coming back.

[indigo]

Welcome I agree with RM you have already begun the path towards sobriety by admitting you have a problem. Do you have a plan? we have many forums which explain different methods of getting clean & if you read though perhaps you can decide which one feels like the best choice for you. We are here to support you in any way we are able. At the moment things may seem hopeless....they really are not you appear to have reached your bottom & need a helping hand. Look around the village & if you need an ear PM me. Please don't beat yourself up you are doing something positive & yes it feels shameful, it is an addiction it is not you so put any shame behind you & look to your future it's starting already.

[Chy]

Welcome Porsha!

Most of us here are here because we have had problems with alcohol drugs or have family members with this problem. You're in a safe place to talk about this and process all the emotions that come with this and there will be many. Some days you'll be telling yourself " I'm not that bad, look I can quit when I want" and go a few days, justifying to yourself, oh " I deserve a reward", it's a vicious cycle we put our selves through.

Only you can decide in your heart if you have a problem with alcohol or not and it seems you are already acknowledging that. So as mentioned, make a plan, work hard at it and let us help along the way.

[jillbedford]

Hey Porsha,
I hear you. Loud and clear. I did the same thing. I hit my head in the bathroom one time, knocked myself out cold and had a black eye for a long time afterward.
My grandfather was an alcoholic, and I always knew in my heart I was too. My is didn't quite want to be totally honest about it.
When I had a big birthday, 2 years ago, one of those scary ones that ends in zero, I decided to figure out what my goals were. I had two. To find God or religion or something to have a spiritual purpose and to quit drinking. Both of those things are linked together I found.
I tried a bunch of stuff to quit drinking on my own. But like "How It Works" says, the result was nil. One of my favorite quit drinking strategies was to switch to Laphroig scotch, because it takes TRULY terrible.
That plan did not work. In fact, I found I was sitting on concrete in jail one time after drinking too much of it once. That's another story.
As far as relationships working with drinking, well, they don't. As alcoholics, we take hostages, not lovers. You'll understand that more when you get some sober days behind you.
Can you quit drinking on your own? I wasn't able to. I went to AA and found the strength I needed. Something about those chips that I find very motivating. Guess it goes back to that 95 IQ I have. ;-)
As you know I am sure, untreated alcoholism is always fatal. You have to decide to fight, so you can enjoy life and your friends, kids, family, lovers, all that. If you decide to fight, you can beat this monster. I promise.
I hope this helps. AA works sweetheart. But you got to go to the "stupid" meetings and eventually, you have to try to work the "stupid" steps. And if you fight in these ways, you will make it, you can fight it and you can live.

[Done-With-It!]

Originally Posted by laporsha24

Hello,
my name is Porsha and I have a seriouse drinking problem. This weekend I went to a party with my boyfriend and I embarassed him in front of his family and friends. I was so drunk at the party that I started dancing with another man, and when it came time to leave I fell and hit my head on the concrete in front of everyone. The fall ended up knocking me out, and the next day I had to go to the hospital. I am scared that if I do not have the stregnth to fight my problem I am going to end up ruining my relationship, and killing myself. Right now it seems that my drinking problem is bigger than I am and to hard to overcome. My boyfriend is so mad at me right now that he is having a hard time supporting me in my decision to stop drinking, and he does not think that I really want help. If anyone has any advice to offer, I would love to hear from you.

Hi and Welcome!

Glad that you found us. Like Jill said I would look into AA or something of the sort to help you with this. If you are afraid that you are going to end up killing yourself with your drinking and you are really ready to get help, AA would be a great place to start or there is Smart Recovery, etc. so many great places out there just waiting to help you.

You've found a place of great support here also.

DWI

[indigo]

I hope you both keep posting & let us help.

[rainbowtwin]

Welcome to the village!This is a great place,I like to check in,it reminds me how sneaky my drinking brain can be and it shows me that it is not just me,there are many people who struggle with alcohol,and many people who live productive,gentle,exciting,challenging and fulfilling sober lives.I want some of that.
Your honest post was fantastic for me to read.I too have behaved like that many,many times with many different boyfriends.It wasn't enough till it was enough.Life without drinking is beyond anything I imagined because I don't think I ever imagined not drinking.I go to AA, because it gives me other alcoholics who are trying to live/get sober,and it gives me something concrete to do with my over stimulated imaginative brain!Take care.There is so much support.Use it.
xrainbow

[indigo]

How are you both doing? If you're struggling it's always a good time to best. We're here to help we've most of us been there & we're not going to be judging.

[QuietTime]

Thank you for your post, Porsha. I was sitting here googling "alcohol ruined my relationship" and it was your post that brought me here.

With years of functioning alcoholism under my belt (as far as work goes), I felt above AA and sobreity for far too long. There didn't seem to be a rock bottom for me, not ER visits, 37 stitches to my face, piling debt, loss of friends and apartments and family heirlooms....until my significant other could take it no more. The truth is, he shouldn't have to. So, sadly, the loss of a relationship became my rock bottom.

I have never been committed to sobriety before. Today I am sober, marking of days on a calendar, taking care of simple life things, and not thinking about drinking.

He used to say "why do you chose alcohol over me?" I never had a good answer. Ultimately he gave me the greatest gift. He showed me how to choose ME over alcohol. Our loved ones leave because they are as powerless as we are, and they remember the things we said the day after the night before.

I hope you have a happier relationship ending. Thank you for leading me to this community!

[Hopefloats]

WELCOME Porsha...GREAT advice before me. My daughter is an addict, so I have seen first hand what this disease will do to not just the addict but the family.
I will pray that you get the help you need before you lose everything that right now, you can call your own.
Said with GREAT compassion
Hope

[indigo]

How wonderful it is to see us all coming together with our stories, joys & worries, it makes us strong & I hope for strength for each of us today.

[Giyana]

Porsha? How are you?

And QuietTime, welcome here. I can identify with you both, and can attest that this problem never goes away except by not drinking... one day at a time.

I was doing fine, again, till I found a note written by my SO saying some not very good things about me. It threw me over the edge back to alcohol, and with great difficulty I have quit again. it is so hard to do the first time, and the 20th? 30th+ time? Well it becomes more difficult.

Let us know how you are. I for one can use the support,

Gianna