Relationship Tips by Jodi Blackley

[Chy]

Relationship Tip of the Week - 12/4/09
Integrity


When you picture someone who has integrity, what characteristics do this person have? You might think of someone who follows through on their commitments, is honest with others, is reliable, and possibly many other characteristics of this nature. There's another characteristic, which many people overlook. To have integrity means not only to be honest with others but to be honest with oneself.

If you agree to decisions or go along with situations within your relationship that you truly don't agree with in order to "keep the peace," or "not rock the boat," then how honest are you being with yourself? How much integrity are you demonstrating to yourself? To your partner? To the relationship? In the short-term, it may seem like you are "keeping the peace," but if the situation/decision begins to gnaw at your gut, then this will only foster resentment in the long run... but the resentment won't be about your partner, it'll be about the choice you made in the beginning to agree to a situation to which you (if you were honest with yourself in the first place) didn't agree with initially.

So, is it really worth maintaining silence when that silence will later result in resentment? Only you can answer this... but also ask yourself, "Is this really worth compromising my integrity?"

©2009 Jodi Blackley, M.S., M.F.T. Tips of the Week