Hunters

[indigo]

Moose Hunters

Two moose hunters, Wally and Jeff, from New Mexico, fly to a remote area in Alberta, Canada. They have a fabulous hunting expedition and both manage to shoot a large moose.
When the plane returns to pick them up, Ronnie, the pilot looks at the animals and says, 'This little plane won't lift all of us, the equipment, and both of those animals. You'll have to leave one. We'd never make it over the trees on the take off.'

'That's nonsense!' explodes an angry Wally.
Yep,' agrees Jeff, 'you're just a cowardly custard. We came out here last year and got two moose and that pilot had some guts. He wasn't afraid to take off!'

'Mmmm,' adds Wally, 'and his plane wasn't any bigger than yours, Ronnie.'
Ronnie becomes cross, as well, and snaps, 'Dang me, if he did it, then I can do it! I can fly as well as anybody'
Wally and Jeff load up the plane; they taxi at full throttle and the plane almost makes it, but doesn't have the lift to clear the trees at the end of the lake. It touches the tree tops, flips, and breaks up. Everything scatters; the baggage, animal carcasses, and passengers.

Still alive, but dazed, Ronnie pilot sits up, shakes his head to clear it, and mumbles, 'Where are we?'
Wally appears dishevelled from behind a shrub, looks around and replies, 'Oh.....I'd say ... about a hundred metres further than last year.'

* Hunters Take Instructions *

Josh and Olly are hunters and they are dragging their dead deer back to their truck after a successful expedition. As they go they meet another hunter, who is pulling his deer along too, who shouts to them both, 'Oiga! I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground.'

The third hunter leaves and Josh and Olly decide to try to do exactly what he has suggested.
Some considerable time later Josh says, 'You know, Olly, that man was right. This is an awful lot easier!'

'Yep, Josh, but we're getting farther from the truck,' moans Olly.


Rocketman the hunter really was called Jeff in the joke I didn't do it on purpose!