Hello Old Friend

[Pattee]

Hello old friend" Iv'e come to visit once again. I live to see you suffer: physically, spiritual, and socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax... I want you to be jumpy, nervious and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything; and everybody makes you uncomfortable. I want you to be confused and depressed so you cant think clearly or positively. I want you to hate everything, and everybody, including your self. I want you to feel guily and remorsefull for the things you have done in the past that you'll never be able to let go. I want to make you angry and hatefull toward the world for the way it is, and the way you are. I want you to be decitfull and untrustworthy, and to manipulate and con as manny people for no reason at all. I want you to wake up durring all hours of the night and scream for me. You know you cant sleep without me. I'm even in your dreams... I want to be the first thing you think of when you wakeup in the morning, and the last thing you touch before you go to sleep if you can. I would rather kill you. But i'll be happy enough to put you back in the hospital, anmother insitution or jail. But you know, I'll stil be waiting for you when you get out. I love to watch you go slowly insane. I love to see all the physical damage that i'm causing you. I cant help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake... when you freeze and sweat at the same time. When you wake with the sheets soaking wet... It's amuseing to watch... Its amazing how much destruction i can do on your internal organs while at the same time i work on your brain, destroying it bit, by bit............... I deeply appreciate how much you have sacrificed for me; the countless jobs; all the fine friends that you deeply cared for and you gave up for me; and whats more, for the ones you turned against yourself because of you inexcusable actions. For these, I am even more grateful. But especially for your loved ones, your family, the most important people in the world to you- you even threw then away for me. I cannot express in words the gratitude i have for the loyalty and respect you have for me. But do not despair, my friend, for on me you can always depend!!! For after you have lost aqll these things, you still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in a living hell; to keep your mind, body, and soul; for i will not be sastisfied until your dead... So hello old friend, i'm the Rat... my name is Addiction".............. this was given to me long ago by a recently departed friend...................... agw & tol, ... Pattee