I am in Awe

[justme59]

Of my changed thinking
When I put down the grog, I was an alcohol sodden 57 year old woman.
I had drunk for 37 years, and of course, it had progressed as it does.

My bottom was coming to, having been thrown on my front lawn by the police after being picked up for a DUI. There I was, at 9pm, lying in a sodden mess, under a street light , half dressed, beside a busy street .

I wont go into the whole progressively disgusting drinking story, suffice to say, my behaviour had been that of a chronically drunk woman.
I had not lost a lot materially, still worked , never lost a job, had a home , ect, BUT I had lost my soul. I can remember the lonliness, and utter dispair I felt every time I opened a can. The dreadful self hate and guilt . I was utterly without hope.

I had my last drink on 22nd October 2003, I went to my first AA meeting, I was scared , embarrassed, and was sure that i was the only woman EVER to feel what I was feeling .

I have attended regular meetings ever since, and could ONLY do what I was told. I had no choice, and no better ideas . my "default ' setting was , hopelessness, dispair, paranoia, anxiety , self loathing , and lonliness .

I was told, "do the next right thing, attend meetings, and listen up" I got so sick of hearing it , but I did it. If I heard " give it time" once, I heard it 1000 times LOL I could have kneecapped everyone !

I have been totally surprised at the change in my thinking. I was convinced , that everyone else may have been insane, but not me Yeah right ! I was MAD!

it is now 5 years down the track, and I used to read in the Big Book that my thinking would change, but didnt believe it . I practised every tip, and instruction I was given, and am surprised to find, that my "default" has changed !
I am now calm , Serenity rocks ! LOL I am a definite "glass 1/2 full" person, I am content , and I NEVER think I am important enough for "eveybody to be talking about me " LOL

it works if you work it
ACTION is required
Practice , pratice

Acceptance was the answer to ALL my problems

You CAN do it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy recovery
HUGX
Leigh