Another personal discovery

[yeahme]

I had a profound thought today.......After years of trial and error and this past year analyzing, thinking and trying to figure out where it all fits in I have learned my people.

I've learned what people I deal best with. After years of running with the same addicts, adding a few extras now and then. Then I got clean and slowly everyone of those folks disappeared and I find that while I get along with people and enjoy their company every now and again. I just don't warm up to people the way I see others warm up. My past is very different from theirs. When they talk about what they were doing during a certain time in their life, usually I was drugged up at that time in my life and it's a time that I don't care to share. I've been here working and going to school for almost 2 years. I finally figured out that I actually enjoy situations where it's pretty much run by something. I like the people in my classes and we talk at school but when some of them go out I never really feel comfortable enough to go out with them. I'm not a get close to everyone person. But since I'm on some committees at school (which I never thought I'd do) when we have functions, I can comfortably hang out. I guess it's a comfort zone where the conversation, setting, expectations, etc. are already laid out. It's not that I can't be myself, because I always am. Get togethers and "functions" for some reason are a safe haven for me. There is one girl in my class who doesn't drink or anything for religious reasons (but she's not a holy roller) and we discussed kayaking one weekend. Since we are on some of the same committees I think that would be comfortable enough for me.

So........ thanks for listening to me ramble about this but I'm still having self discovery issues as I get comfortable in my new surroundings and life.