Working the Spiral Steps: A secular Stairway of Growth and Renewal

[Adric]

I decided to start a thread that takes things from the beginning, and apologize for the overlap in previous threads. But here I will talk about the work I am doing with my own 12 step program with the help of my psychologist, a certified addictions counselor who also holds a PhD. In psychology, and is a certified Psychoanalyst. I see him on a weekly basis, and today, I went over the Spiral Steps, and he thought they were a very good fit for my case, and could be useful for others, as well. Perhaps one day I will even form a local chapter; but that will come in time.

This thread is meant in no way to be a threat or a criticism of the 12 steps of AA, but rather an extension of them. It is not meant as a forum for argument and acrimony, though input and differing views are welcome, Remember: it costs nothing to be polite. I will still attend a weekly AA meeting or two, and listen and share when called upon, but in an unobtrusive way, not mentioning these steps directly; I do not seek to engage in controversy, but to listen to the wisdom (and follies) and I find the warmth and support that my group has to offer helpful. Will I get a sponsor? Perhaps, if they are comfortable with this approach, but I will make any demands; if it happens, it happens.

~

This is where I’ll be sharing the actual work I do on the steps. I realize not many people share this much detail, but rather comment here and there about such matters. I am opening myself up more than seems average and thus am more exposed than most in sharing.

I freely welcome comments, though I am not here to play games, and listen to people tell me I am doomed to failure; please, reserve such negative thoughts for elsewhere on the forums.

Here is a link to their website: Spiral Steps

And, with that, The Spiral Steps, as I have condensed them from their original 13, to 12:

Spiral Steps

1. We admitted that we had a problem and made the decision to reclaim our lives.

2. We came to believe that there was hope for healing, health and balance.

3. We now honor our connection with the divine, as we understand it, and we accept the process of change.

4. We make a searching, fearless and honest inventory of our behavior and beliefs. We consider their effect on our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual selves and their impact on our relations with others.

5. We admit to ourselves and to another human being what is both healthy and unhealthy in our lives and we make a daily commitment to heal ourselves in body, mind and spirit.

6. We are willing to seek our Highest Good and to grow both spiritually and emotionally.

7. We let go of dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors and we consciously welcome joy, love and peace into our lives.

8. We make a list of all beings we have harmed, including ourselves, and we become willing to make amends to them all.

9. We work to restore balance in our lives. We make direct amends to others wherever possible and we value and care for ourselves.

10. We continue to take personal inventory and promptly acknowledge both our mistakes and our achievements whenever they occur.

11. We continue to grow in compassion, strength and understanding. We learn to celebrate our lives and our connection to all living things.

12. Having had a spiritual and emotional awakening, we work to help others along the path and we practice these principles in all our affairs; at the same time, we seek life balance, to find our calling and to develop the will and the wisdom to follow it.

Some have said that this is easy way out, a picnic, a means of avoidance, a denial. They say why not follow the well trod path of others? And mu answer is that there are many paths to recovery, religious, secular, and otherwise, from AA to SMART, and all of them have merit. But doing these steps is still not exactly a walk in the park, despite their focus on growth and the positive.

~

My work with step #1: We admitted that we had a problem and made the decision to reclaim our lives.

This took some time to come around to accepting, as I generally drank twice a week, but both nights, to excess. So after 3 or 4 days, I’d feel better, and then go out again. It was harder to see this as a problem, as it didn’t resemble the 'grasping for the bottle in the morning stories' I had so often heard. In the morning, I would grasp for a Vitamin water. But now, after reflecting on this for the 21 days I have been sober, I can see the unmanaged mess it had created, and was continuing to create. My partner and I have long struggled with money. Here we were, spending about $40-50 on a night out, twice a week. The alcohol made it easy to forget how much we were spending; how much I was spending. Which comes to about $400+ per month. Not pretty, when you are facing wage garnishment, and then it all becomes clear: had I not been spending this $ all along on booze, I would not be facing garnishment. Alcohol was a way to forget, to kick the financial can down the road.

But it just created a bigger mess, and certainly a ‘problem’. Other problems flowed from this: A lack of money to explore healthier hobbies and interests, a lack of money to travel, and a lack of energy and time to pursue writing, art and the things I value most. And, it lowered the quality of my sex life, a pleasure I find Divine, as you don’t generally have sex if you pass out or have a hangover. I feel closer to my partner as I begin the healing process. So I have come to see how drinking has brought on a huge problem, and that I can not take ‘just one’ drink…it leads to 5 or more. Thus I seek to reclaim my life, having found that drinking presents a huge, unmanageable problem, and seek to free myself to pursue the positive.