Doctor's bed-side manners

[indigo]

1) New slant on Doctor's bed-side manners

"Every GP [General Practitioner - Doctor] is to be instructed to tell fat patients that they should lose weight, putting doctors in the front line of a new offensive to tackle Britain’s growing obesity problem," records The Times on May 3rd 2006. "In future GPs will have to treat obesity as if it were any other medical condition and advise the overweight to slim.

It is the first time that doctors have been asked to cajole fat patients, old and young, to eat less, improve their diets and
take exercise. The move by Caroline Flint, the Public Health Minister, is directed in particular at children and young people who need help to lose their excess pounds."
Perhaps if this proves difficult we will hear this kind of conversation:

Patient: It isn't possible that I'm as overweight as you say I am.
Doctor: Maybe you would prefer to look at it in a different way.

According to this chart, you're about 10 inches too short.


2) Keep taking the pills?

One morning, Arnie went to see his doctor and told him that he hadn't been feeling at all well. The doctor examined Arnie, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills.
Looking at Arnie he says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."

Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, "L...........L.......L.........Lummee, Doc, exactly what is my problem?"

The doctor replied, "Arnie, you're not drinking enough water."

3) Secret elixir of longevity?

Gloria, out for a walk, notices this little old man rocking in a chair on his porch and approaches him.

"I can't help noticing how happy you look," Gloria smiles at him, "What is your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he replied, "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing!" Gloria responds, "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he replies.